Imagine being the person that other people want to engage with. People want to talk to you and are genuinely interested in your advice and what you have to say. There are a few things you can do to become more appealing to the people that surround you:

  • Listen more than you speak- People want to be heard and make sure that others value what they are saying. There is no better way to make others feel heard than to actually listen to them. When you do this, you suddenly become more attractive to speak to because people know you are open to their conversation.
  • Provide Value- When I talk about value in this sense I do not mean financial value (although, that is one way to become more appealing to people). I am talking about intellectual value. Can people learn things from you? Can you improve their mood? You want to offer as much value to people as possible. Do this by being there for people when they need it. When people are struggling, be there for them and they will always remember what you for it.
  • Have Morals- Always stick to your morals. If you are with a group of people and they are doing something that goes against your moral values then make sure you stick with what you believe. This applies especially to young people where people around them may be taking drugs, for example. In the short term people may laugh or think you are arrogant but in the long run they will gain a sense of respect for you that can only be gained in this way.
  • Treat everyone as equals- In the last step I mentioned arrogance. People hate arrogance. Never act like you are above someone because this will make them feel uneasy. Make sure you treat everyone with an equal amount of respect and trust and they will do the same for you.
  • Be confident- Again, this goes hand in hand with arrogance. There is nothing wrong with being sure of yourself as long as this does not come across as cockiness.  Be sure of everything you do or say but never be afraid to ask for help. Also, apologize when you need to because failing to admit your mistakes to others could cost you your friendship.

These tips are important but most important of all is to give things time. It is easy to change your reputation in a negative way over night but it is extremely difficult to change it in a positive way over the same time period. Don’t rush these tips and over time, people will start to value you more as a person.

Thanks for reading. What do you think? How do you add value to other people’s lives?